Updates

Well, it certainly has been a very long time since I have written on my blog.  And it's amazing how much things have changed since I last posted.  As it turns out, one of the gentlemen I was interested in was also interested in me.  I had been talking to him on and off for months prior to our first official date.  I remember being incredibly nervous, but he made it impossible for me to back out.

The first date was surreal.  He picked me up at my apartment, and even opened the car door for me as I got into his car.  We went to mini-golf, which would usually not be my favorite activity, but I was being polite.  It turned out we had a blast.  He even held my purse for me while I putted.

It wasn't long until we became what the dating world calls "official" and facebook calls "in a relationship."  The downfall was, he was a divorced father of two very young children.  I wasn't sure how well I would handle it, but it was discussed that I wouldn't meet the children until we were sure it was going somewhere.  It seemed like an excellent plan.

As time progressed, we became fairly close.  I became more comfortable with this person than any other that I'd ever been in contact with in my life.  It was an odd experience, but enjoyable none-the-less.  Unfortunately, the ex-wife began to cause some troubles.  I don't know all the details of the situation, but he began to drift.  At first I was panicking that I had done something wrong, but in retrospect I understand the burden that was placed upon him.

A few weeks ago, he was told by the ex-wife that she wanted to try and patch things up.  This would mean he could keep his house, he could keep the kids (which are his world), and he wouldn't have to pay her child support.  He mulled over the decision and decided for his own sanity he had to give it a try.

Of course, I was heartbroken.  It's just the way it goes.  He wanted to remain friends, which is something that I ultimately wanted myself.  As I said previously, I felt more comfortable with him than I felt with myself.  Most of my friends thought that this would be a bad idea, and that he just wanted his cake and to eat it too, but I don't see it that way.  He's not that kind of person.

The last few weeks have been the most painful of my life.  I've had break ups, and heart ache, but this seemed to be the worst I've ever dealt with.  It got to the point where my friends cringe at the mention of his name, and I feel like a burden to them.

So, why after all this heartache do we as humans go back for more?  I definitely signed back up to pof a few days ago, and I plan on continuing my hunt.. but why?

Because the good always outweighs the bad.  I don't regret any of my decisions, I just miss the way things were.

So, my readers, Violet is back in the game.. or at least easing my way onto the field.

Ta!